Whatever You Do... Don't Seek Work-Life Balance!
In fact, when we strive for balance, we often end up disappointed. I know this from personal experience!
We've been taught to seek "balance in everything" – our jobs, our families, our self-care, and all our other responsibilities too! But sometimes trying to achieve balance actually leaves us imbalanced, asking, "Is work-life balance just a myth?"
When I was interviewing for jobs back in 2018, one of the biggest benefits I was seeking was balance. I am a hard worker by nature, and can easily lean into workaholic tendencies when I love what I do. And I’ve never had a job I didn’t love soooooo … I learned to intentionally map out time for me, for family, and for the other priorities in my life.
This meant when I was looking for a new job I wanted to make sure that the top priorities in my life didn’t get replaced by the J O B. But balance implies a perfect split, 50/50. And that is not realistic or achievable most days!
In fact, trying to do it all and then feeling like you are failing only creates burnout.
Now, I know now that there are some days and weeks when I need to give my business more than 40 hours, and there are some days and weeks when I need to limit my work hours to focus on my family and my own-self care.
By eliminating the eternal search for balance, I was more at peace with knowing that the time devoted to each category of my life would never be perfectly even. It alleviated so much pressure!
Instead of Seeking Work-Life Balance, I Learned to Focus on Integration.
To me, that represents all the different worlds I dabble in (work, family, health, friendships, etc.) coming together in harmony.
It means not counting the minutes and hours and somehow “owing” other categories in my life that time back, but instead being aware of where I am committing my time and also where I am perhaps falling short so I can course correct.
I stopped keeping score and started leaning into where I was most needed, where I was enjoying my time and where I felt depleted so I could be more intentional about shifting attention to that.
So How Do You Create Work-Life Integration?Try these three steps to find the work-life integration you're dreaming of:
1. Evaluate Where You Currently Spend Your Time.
Determine if you feel good about that or if you want to change it up. If you are good where you’re at, good for you! But if you want change, head to step 2.
2. Create A List Or Spreadsheet Or Pie Chart.
You get the idea... Make a list of all of the areas where you spend your time. Then pick the top 2-3 that you want to prioritize.
At the same time, determine the areas where you are spending more time than you would like. In order to spend more time in your top priority areas, you will need to take time from somewhere so those areas where you are spending more time than you like will start to diminish.
3. Plan Your Days And Weeks With These Priorities In Mind.
With this new awareness, as you plan your days and weeks, keep your priority areas in mind as you schedule yourself out. Notice how your mood, stress levels and fulfillment levels shift as you start to spend your time more intentionally and with an integrated approach.
Work-Life Integration doesn’t happen overnight but it does happen over time.
Remember to try to avoid allocating perfect blocks of time for each priority category in your life, and instead each day and each week make sure your time reflects your highest priorities for that time period.
There may be times when you have a work trip or big client meeting and work will take precedence, and there will also be times when family or health will be your main focus. Be flexible with yourself!
Enjoy your newfound flexibility and freedom in the world of work-life integration.
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